Coming Out Ahead Of A Divorce In One Piece

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Thursday, September 6, 2007

By Peter Parks
Do you ever feel like you know just enough about divorce to
be dangerous? Let's see if we can fill in some of the gaps
with the latest info from my experience with some clients
Divorce can be hard. Perhaps, no one knows that better than
the two parties involved in the legal coil of separation.
Though a divorce is a mutual decision, it is not impossible
that one or both parties suffer from remorse, guilt and
disappointment over the broken marriage. After all, who
would want to have their heart and marriage broken?
Contrary to what most people perceive divorce to be, it is
not as cold and as calculating. Divorce does not only
involve court battles for child custody and for property,
it also a personal battle to fix a broken heart and regain
the pieces of a broken life.
Divorce affects everything, not only the family life but
also the personal life. Divorce can be a big blow to one's
self-confidence, not only as a man or a woman but also as a
decision-making individual.

For a while, there would be feelings of doubts over one's ability
to make the right decision and choose the right person to spend the rest of
one's life with. With injured parties or those victimized
by promiscuity, a divorce can bring on feelings of
insecurity over one's worth as an individual and as a man
or a woman.
Others feel the frustration and the disbelief of having
something like divorce happen to the family. This is
especially true with people who have enjoyed close family
ties or those whose parents have still stuck it out through
thick and thin. For these people, divorce can be a time of
bewilderment, wondering how something like this can
happen.
By all intents and purposes, a divorce can be downright
messy and emotionally draining (not to mention the fact
that it can also be financially draining). It can even turn
ugly if the two parties involve do not make the effort to
part as amicably as possible. Here are some tips that may
help you go through divorce unscathed!
Take time off to think
Depending on the way the couple parted, divorce can be a
meeting ground for a lot of unresolved issues and emotions,
particularly anger. Before couples go through the process,
it is better to take time off to think things through. This
will help bring things in perspective and may even help them
understand what happened and perhaps, eventually accept that
divorce is something that they cannot have control of.
Taking time off can be something as simple as taking a
leave of absence from the office and basically just
spending time in your comfort zones or something as
extravagant as cruising in the Caribbean and taking one
relaxing vacation. The time will help them think and who
knows, they may even realize that they can still make the
marriage work!
Accept what cannot be
Finally accepting that the divorce is inevitable and may be
for the best interest of all concerned will do wonders to
the way couples deal with the entire divorce process. This
may not be as easy to do as they think. In fact, for some
acceptance do not come at all until a couple of years after
the divorce. But still, one must make the effort to accept
things as they are. This will make the divorce proceedings
less painful.
Have a talk
Part of the problem with divorce battles is that couples
have so much anger inside that they cannot even sit down
and talk about everything. Most converse through the
divorce lawyers while others slug it out over the phone.
It is important that parties involve have a talk over
everything. This will clear things up and will make the
legal transition and division of assets easier. (Unless of
course, the divorce is so bitter that the two parties
cannot stay in one room together without attempting to kill
each other! In cases like that, tell them to go take a
vacation!)
Get a good lawyer
Divorce lawyers may know the law to the letter but only few
can handle cases with sensitivity and finesse. It is
important that couples look for lawyers who will not
exacerbate the situation by creating unnecessary tension.
Abrasive and harsh treatment of the case can spell trouble
for the case especially when things reach sensitive and
crucial issues such as division of properties and custody
of children.
Don't limit yourself by refusing to learn the details
about divorce. The more you know, the easier it will be to
focus on what's important.
(c)copyright 2006 Niche Profit Marketing
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Our teens and Drug Abuse, how do we help them?
Our teens and Drug Abuse, how do we help them?
We live in a world were drugs are everywhere. When we were kids even in the 50"s, 60"s and the 70"s there were drugs but not at all like what our kids have available to them now.
Yes a lot of us smoked pot and even today you hear people say pot should be legal but should it really? Do you know that the pot back then was not like today's pot? The fact is that marijuana today is 20 times stronger then back then, that's right 20 times stronger. The marijuana today is engineered that way and sometimes laced with other drugs. Now do you think it should be legal and do you want your kids smoking it? Alcohol is legal and people die everyday from its use.
Marijuana is also known as the gateway drug. A gateway drug means you start off using marijuana and it leads to other drugs. This is a proven fact and I could go on about just this reason not to use or legalize marijuana but that is not my reason for writing this.
That is the start but there are many more drugs out there that are much more addicting and life changing. Do you know there are house whole items in your home right now kids are using? What's right, parents need education on drugs. Parents need to know what is out there and what signs to look for in their children so they can stop it before our kids are addicts.
Did you know our kids are experimenting with drugs as young as 8 years old? The fact is if you can catch them while they are experimenting with drugs you can prevent them from ever becoming an addict. When a child becomes an addict it is a life changing event that will last them a life time. They will be an addict for life even if they recover from drug addiction.
They will have to fight that addict for life. Do you want this to happen to your kids?
Parents need to be educated in drug abuse and use now, it starts at the home not our schools. We gave them life and it is our responsibility. We teach them life lesions and shape them into young men and women. We instill values and the need for family. We teach them right from wrong and how to protect and support them. We also teach them how to be good parents but how do we do that if we are not being good parents.
Parent education is very important and we need to be educated. How do we teach our kids about drugs if we don't know about drugs? I want you to test your parent's knowledge on drugs?
1) Can you name 10 drugs kids are using today?
2) Can you tell me what the signs to look for are?
3) Can you tell me what the effects of these drugs are?
4) Can you tell me where to get help in your area, name five recourses?
5) Can you tell yourself 100% that your kids are not using any drugs right now?
6) If you answered yes to the last question than you are telling me your kids are by your side 24/7 right!
If you couldn't answer just one of these questions then you need to become educated in drug prevention and education. If you are saying I don't need this you are thinking that out of fear. We don't want to know are kids are having a problem because then we have to deal with it.
Parents think it is a phase our kids will grow out off because we may have tried pot or drank when we were kids and we aren't addicts. The facts are that there are drugs out there that if your kid tried it just once they are an addict or if they are lucky they lived to tell about it. That's right there are drugs out there that when used only once, you will become addicted to and it can kill you the first time you use it. I ask are you willing to gamble with your kids lives because you want to stick you head in the sand rather than know. I have parents tell me all the time, not my kids we live in a good area. Drugs are everywhere and the fact is that kids in middle class to wealthy families use more drugs than inner city poor kids. Do you think the money you give them daily to buy lunch or just to have spending money is always used for that reason. Poor kids don't get money in their pocket their parents have all they can do to feed them. The fact is your kids have the time and the money to go out an experiment with drugs. Want to be a good parent than get educated on drugs.
You can give them a tool to use so they can say no when they are given the chance to try drugs and it will happen. The fact is before junior high school your kids will be offered drugs. Will they say no? They may say no the first time but when their friends are offering it to them over and over again without a clear reason not to try it they will. They want to be cool and fit in so they will try it.
I could go on and on but if you care get educated like I am. I didn't get educated years ago and I have a kid that was addicted at age 13. I have a recovered 21 years old now that will always be an addict. I lived in a great area and we gave her everything she needed but we didn't give her the most important thing she needed. We needed to give her a reason to say no.
If I knew what I know now she would have never became an addict. It would have saved us all the pain and heartache and it would have given her a childhood. My daughter lost her childhood and grow up too fast learning the lesions of drug abuse. My daughter has the lungs and health of a 41 year old and that price for using drugs she will have to live with for the rest of her life. I placed my daughter in rehab. I also took her out when she cried to come home out of fear. I didn't believe the drug rehab center when they told me if she didn't get help my 13 year old would have sex. I didn't know she already did. I worry today if she will get Aids. Thank god to date she doesn't.
Our kids have so much more danger out there than we ever did. Here is another fact for you, do you know that the USA uses 65% of the illicit drugs in the world; we are a drug using nation. It is not just our kids, did you know that 70% of drug s used today are used by people in our work force. They are from the ages of 19-45. What a country we live in with our freedoms. Don't let your kid be a fact on a page we need to act now.
Drug prevention has to start in the home. Please give your kids the right education and tools they need to grow up fully functional young men and women. How do we do that? I have the tools to help you. Want to know a clear reason for your kids to say no and keep face with their friends?
They can say I can't do drugs because my parent's drug tests me at home randomly. That's right, you can drug test your kids at home and you can buy the test everywhere on the internet. But that is not all a test without a program (education) is just a test.
I have a program and you can view it on my web site.
www.drugchecknewyork.com
You can use my program if you choose but do something now. Don't go another day without doing something to prevent drug abuse. There is a saying we all know, put your money where your mouth is.
I have done just that, will you do the same? .Don't give your kids money just to have it for spend money, use the money to truly help them. Rehab cost tens of thousands of dollars. Money can't buy health and they can never recover their childhood.
I know what I am talking about I live the nightmare of having a drug addicted child and I got the education I needed to help others. I am a drug test consultant. I will speak about drugs anywhere people request. I will go into homes and speak with parents. I don't charge to speak because I am on a mission in life to help as many people as I can. I never want another parent to feel what I felt and still do with a drug addicted child.
Please get educated and do drug testing of your children often.
If you know someone who may need this information please pass this on. We see things others don't, if you see a problem in a child you know send this to their parents. If you fight the war on drugs maybe we can save just one child.
Love your kids; give them something to fight with.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope I have been of some help to you and yours. I am available in the New York area to speak to any group, school or parent that will have me at no charge. I also do free seminars just check out my web site where you can contact me and get the information you need.
www.drugchecknewyork.com
1-718-305-4164
Thank you
mailto:breniakd@aol.com
Debra Breniak

Enjoy Christmas Everyday With Christmas Screensavers
Most of us say - Let every day be Christmas. But we say this only during Christmas. As Christmas passes, the spirit passes and after some days, we all get busy with our day-to-day life and forget everything about Christmas and its spirit.
Why do we wish every day to be Christmas? Because we all love the atmosphere of Christmas and the time, when we love giving. The times when we forgive, our hearts are full of love for others and compassion overflows. We love that kind of experience. Unfortunately we forget all about it after some time. How to retain that spirit and feel love all through the year? Let me give you a very simple remedy. Download few beautiful Christmas screensavers and desktop wallpapers on your desktop and watch them every day.
Let us find out how this works. Let us give you an example. When you watch something beautiful, when you hear lovely music and when you read inspiring and loving text, your mood changes for the better immediately. Your state changes to a very positive state. When you see something dirty, hear noises and read dirty words, your mood changes to negative in a fraction of a moment. Our sense organs can change our state in a short time. Therefore it is important that we battle with all the negatives with positives to keep our state happy and positive.
Christmas Screensavers with lovely music, video shots and messages of giving can do this very effectively. Whenever you are feeling bad and depressed, watch some of the Christmas screensavers and your mood will change immediately for the better. Why not give it a try? You can make every day Christmas.
About The Author - CDMohatta writes text for Free Screensavers. You can download as many as you wish at no cost. Please select from - Free Christmas Screensavers, Free Christmas Screensavers with Calendars and Free Christmas Wallpapers.